Pocket AIR COMMANDER

Everyone had resigned themselves to boredom some hours into that long flight to Beijing; but it was not to last, as you unzipped your only carry-on and positioned the Pocket AIR COMMANDER 5000000000000000000000000000000000000000 prominently on your lap, switched it on, and in an authoritative tone announced to all who cared to listen: `THIS SITUATION IS UNDER CONTROL, LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ME, RELAX, GO ABOUT YOUR LIVES.`

Yes, that life of intrigue and mystery that has always seemed just out of reach is, now, um, less just, um, out of reach. The Pocket AIR COMMANDER 5000000000000000000000000000000000000000 features a little joystick and some switches on the top, complimented by nice pink/purple LEDs, that light up. Flipping the unit over reveals some photosensors and some multicolor LEDs that shimmy shimmy yeah when the joystick is pushed inwards. There`s an audio out jack, little internal speaker, and nice EZ-GRIP handles for moments of clear-air turbulence. Commandingly statist olive green, black, and chrome color scheme.

The Pocket AIR COMMANDER 5000000000000000000000000000000000000000 also makes little synthy noises. PLL VCO and bandpass filter. 9V battery makes it, and by extension, all that is good; go